Picky Eating
If you have children you may be experiencing “picky eating.” We define picky eating as an infant or child who refuses certain foods, to the point that there is little variety in his or her diet, or that he is eating food that is not nutritionally adequate. When your child refuses foods, first you should ask your pediatrician if there is a medical reason for this. Sometimes babies and kids have allergies, intolerances, or gastrointestinal issues that cause them to avoid certain foods. Also, some children have developmental problems that prevent them from eating a healthy variety of foods. If your child’s doctor has ruled out medical problems, then there is a good chance you have a picky eater on your hands. Don’t panic, we have advice on how to handle this very common issue in childhood.
The first rule to remember when feeding your children at any age: you choose WHAT the child eats, your child chooses HOW MUCH to eat. This principle is called “The Division of Responsibility in Feeding,” authored by Ellyn Satter, a Registered Dietitian, Nutritionist, and Family Therapist.
You can find her website and Facebook page below:
http://www.ellynsatterinstitute.org
http://ellynsatterinstitute.org/dor/divisionofresponsibilityinfeeding.php
This concept is also endorsed by the American Academy of Pediatrics
The second rule to remember: No clean plate club. Never force your child to sit at the table until all the food is eaten. This will just set up a battle between you and your child. You will need to get used to putting away or throwing out your child’s leftovers, as much as this may bother you. Luckily, you wont have to do it for very long.
Toddlers
If you have a toddler who is refusing foods, especially foods he was eating without problem previously, this is likely the result of a normal developmental stage. Toddlers like to be “in charge,” so they try to control as much of their world as possible. You have no doubt noted your toddler says “no” frequently, and seems to do so randomly, “just because.” He is testing the limits that caregivers are placing, and eating and food are a common area where these tests take place. When your toddler is refusing foods, the first thing to remember is not to give any extra attention for this behavior. Have your meals while sitting together at the table when possible, and ignore your child when she refuses a food; don’t try to entice her to eat it. Focusing on a particular food may lead your child to NOT eat it, because he wants to be the one in charge. Likewise, do not act happy when your child DOES eat a food that he had previously avoided. This will just reinforce the fact that your child is able to influence your behavior. Be neutral and pleasant about food when eating with your toddler. Remember that a toddler size portion of a food is about 1-2 tablespoons, so it may look like he is not eating very much, but he is actually eating enough. Provide the foods that your toddler “doesn’t like” along with the foods that he eats without issue, and with enough familiarity, you toddler will start to eat a wider variety of foods. Avoid giving toddlers too many “liquid calories.” Milk is nutritious, but don’t give more than 16-20 ounces a day, and give it after your child has eaten their meal. Juice is also a high calorie, low nutrition drink, so avoid serving it except once in a while. Water should be your toddler’s main drink. Lastly, if your toddler starts playing with or throwing food, time to say,” Okay, I see you are done eating,” and take them away from the table.
Older Children
If you have a child three years of age or older, things are a little different. Children at this age are “picky” either because it’s a habit they developed as toddlers, or because they have discovered tasty “junk” foods, and prefer them to other foods. For this age group, you do want to continue to apply the rules stated above, but now you can also try the “one bite” rule. This means that your child takes a bite of each food that is served. Over time, your child may discover that they want to take many more bites of these foods! Once again, remain neutral about each food, no negative or positive comments regarding whether the child eats a particular food. Also, this is a good time to start letting your child serve themselves, rather than you placing foods on their plate. This will encourage independence and control. Also, you can start teaching and enforcing table manners, such as not making rude comments about the food (e.g.”ewww.”) Teach your child to say instead, “no thank you,” when presented with a food they don’t want to try.
Remember to avoid giving your child something different than what the rest of the family is eating. Also, they cannot have a separate meal later, after everyone is finished eating. This will encourage them to continue to avoid eating what is served, and allow them to control what is served to them. Remember, you decide WHAT to feed your child, the child decides HOW MUCH to eat. If he chooses to eat nothing at a meal, then that is his choice and he wont get another meal later. I promise he will not starve before its time for the next meal.
You can certainly give your older child some say in what food you choose to buy or prepare, and give them a choice among two or three items for a snack or a meal (e.g. “Do you want an orange or an apple with your lunch?” or “Do you want cereal or a bagel today?” You are still following the principles of healthy eating, but also giving your child a little more flexibility.
We hope that this advice will help your children grow to enjoy food, have a healthy attitude towards it, and that mealtime negativity will become a thing of the past.